The Elderhood Senior Alliance – Uniting to grow in wisdom, compassion and service
The mission of the Elderhood Senior Alliance is to support the creation of affordable, sustainable housing for seniors, and to create a network of mutual support enabling seniors to assist each other in maintaining their independence, allowing them to live in their existing homes for as long as possible.
Elderhood in the context of this project has three distinct meanings:
1. It is a portmanteau of the words “elder” and “neighborhood”.
2. It is an aspirational role, or state of being, in which a person views the problems of life with a clear, unflinching eye and responds in a mature manner with reason, wisdom and compassion.
3. It describes a group of people with an associative relationship bound by their common role or mission, similar to knighthood or priesthood.
The overarching mission of the project is creating community, both in terms of physical affordable, sustainable housing communities to shelter unhoused seniors, but also communities of social connection and mutual support among seniors who are adequately housed, but isolated, a condition that is all too common as we age, and our family, friends and spouses fall away.
Statistics show loneliness and isolation can cut 8-15 years off the lives of older Americans. Being unhoused adds another 10 years of aging to an already declining body.
Recently, Netflix produced a series on the “Blue Zones” (Live to 100: Secrets of the Blue Zones), in which they examined 5 communities around the world that have a markedly higher percentage of centenarians than the rest of the globe. Perhaps the most salient trait that these special places shared was strong social and community bonds.
Okinawa Japan in particular has a marvelous tradition of the moai (meaning ‘meeting for a common purpose’), a circle of friends who support and encourage each other through life. In some Okinawan villages, these circles are formed from groups of about five young children and they commit to be there for each other for life. They meet weekly, or more frequently, over many years, sharing their joys and pains, triumphs and defeats.
One 77 year old female moai member interviewed for the Netflix series said, “Each member knows that her friends count on her as much as she counts on her friends. If you get sick or a spouse dies or if you run out of money, we know someone will step in and help. It’s much easier to go through life knowing there is a safety net.”
The importance of feeling connected and a sense of belonging cannot be overstated in terms of health outcomes, physical and mental. In senior activity centers, it is almost miraculous to see the change that comes over formerly isolated seniors when they’re greeted with a friendly smile and shown to a table of welcoming, friendly seniors. It seems so small a thing, and yet it is magical to observe the positive effects on the sense of well-being, for both the new visitor and the welcoming senior center members.
None of us would survive infancy, were it not for caring relationships with our fellow human beings. Yet somehow, our culture makes many of us want to fashion ourselves into “rugged individualists” who pretend to need nobody. We accumulate wealth and try to protect it by putting up bars on our windows and/or buying weapons. Under the guise of “individual liberty” we have impoverished ourselves through alienated self-centeredness.
All of society is helped by discovering the rewards of making people feel seen, heard and valued. It cost so little, yet it is a priceless gift to those who feel lonely and adrift, but also a gift to ourselves. The satisfaction of a new outfit, or even a new car, cannot compare with the deep satisfaction of helping to rekindle the fading embers of life and love in a heart who may have despaired. It is a service that even the physically challenged can provide, in the form of a smile and a word of encouragement to their comrades in aging.
Techniques and Methods
Senior Housing Alliance – Aligning with other area affordable housing organizations and governmental agencies to lobby for affordable, sustainable senior housing, as well as pursuing grant and other funding opportunities that can contribute to getting more housing built. Exploring opportunities to create “resident owned” communities in which all resident tenants have a vote on any rent or rate increases and are assured housing as long as they meet their responsibilities as resident member.
Elderhood Roundtables – Groups of five or more seniors who meet regularly at specific dates and times via Zoom for socialization and discussion of topics in which they share an interest such as grandkids, gardening, pets, aging and health tips, coping strategies and possible service projects they’d like to undertake as a group.
It should help reach and connect seniors with limited mobility who can’t make it into senior centers and the network may come in handy if another shutdown occurs due to pandemic, or other causes. At the very least, it's a space for folks to share smiles and words of encouragement.
My 20 Minutes Video Project – A series of 20 minute “legacy” videos encouraging people to tell their stories to the future. The strict 20 minute time limit sets in motion an exercise in assessing priorities as to what is worthy of attention in a limited time – a worthy object of contemplation beyond the confines of the video.
Call to Action
Service-minded community members are invited to join us in helping to provide an environment where our seniors can thrive and express their unique gifts and be their best elder selves. In doing so, maybe we can also be an antidote to the despair younger people feel at the prospects of their own aging. If we want our younger generations to be invested in maintaining a functioning civil society, we should demonstrate that growing old in our society is not entirely a losing proposition.
I invite anyone aged 50+ to join the Elderhood (or Elders in the Hood as one friend called it) and let us strive to “be the elders you want to see in the world” to borrow from Gandhi, himself an exemplary elder of renown.